Mis1There is something rather refreshing about being let down by the people closest to us. Sure, it’s upsetting at first, even hurtful but the experience teaches us a very important lesson.

When I say disappointments I’m not talking about minor disappointments here, but major, heart-breaking, gut wrenching disappointments where the person or people you trusted most in the world suddenly and very out of the blue turn on you.

The important thing to remember in such situations is that this isn’t a betrayal because you never really knew the person or people to begin with. All of us present versions of ourselves and this version varies according to who we’re dealing with at the time, but some of us are better at keeping up the pretence than others. It’s like that saying: “women can fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships”. Some people can play a role for years and have people believing that this is their true nature when in reality they were just acting. The problem is that the truth always comes out in the end and when it does, it more often than not ends up hurting others leaving the ‘actor’ unscathed. It’s like paying good money to watch a film at the cinema and it turns out to be awful. You’ve lost money and an entire evening but the actors, director, producers etc have all been handsomely paid and have moved on to the next project.

Having been disappointed by people many times in life (and stabbed.jpegI dare say I’ve probably disappointed a few people along the way too) I feel I am somewhat of an expert in this area. Yes, you may emerge much wiser having acquired more knowledge and experience than you had previously, and that’s grand, but it doesn’t change the fact that once again, you’ve been screwed over by people who spent years masking their utter distain for you until such time as your services were no-longer required.

So with all this in mind, how can being disappointed by people be refreshing and what is the lesson that being disappointed teaches us?

Let me answer both questions with one answer:

Human beings suck.

It’s refreshing to remember this (or learn it if you didn’t already know it) and it’s the important lesson that being treated like shit teaches us.

‘Oh, such negativity!’ I hear you cry but I’m afraid I haven’t reached – and may never reach – a point where I believe that people are inherently good. The number of conflicts around the world are testimony this, as are the millions of other issues causing unnecessary problems in life (politics, the so-called justice system and capitalism being just a few) The point is, I’ve made peace with the fact that, in my opinion people are basically awful so after the initial shock of each disappointment I think ‘yeah, but what did you expect? People suck. Sure, some suck less than others but on the whole, we’re just terrible’.

MamonIs this a healthy attitude to take following a major shock to the system? I’m pretty sure it isn’t, but as a short-term solution it helps because we then don’t take these attacks so personally: You’re not the problem, the dipshits that hurt you aren’t even the problem (although it’s not wrong to still hold out hope that there is a special place reserved in Hell for the fuckers). We human beings are a deeply flawed species and we malfunction a little more every single day until one day our dysfunctional behaviour will make us all extinct, ergo humanity is the problem.

Have a nice day!

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